sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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