no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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