Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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