Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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