Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
