The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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