bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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