I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
