I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
