Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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