Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
