That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
