my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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