she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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