We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
