i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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