you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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