Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
