Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
