Just cropdusted the office
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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