plz talk dirty to me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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