worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
