you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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