help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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