I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
