I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
