Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
