I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize