Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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