i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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