Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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