ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
