There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
