Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
