i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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