We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
