If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
