so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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