Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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