I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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