sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
