you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
