Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I pour the whiskey from now on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
