Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
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All you need to know is that isn't jizz
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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