I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
