Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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