So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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