Banned from zoo.
Again?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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