**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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