my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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