I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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