I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
