This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
