My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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