3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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