You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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