drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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