She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
