Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You may now shotgun with the bride
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
