hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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