did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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